The Meaty Enigma
By Chris Stewart
It’s vexing, perplexing, a puzzle to me
Why Christ has decreed that the pussy must be
So tasty and fuzzy, yet heinously close
To a pungent and shit-birthing anus that’s gross
Conversely, you must raise a glass to the balls
Protecting Dick’s honor by forming a wall
Ensuring the dangling Johnson will not
Share the same filthy fate as the poo-smeared twat
Greasy
Spoon Buttfuckin'
By Thomas Guillard
The
best time of my life, it happened so quickly
Grippin' my member as I talked to Trixie
Blind to the goin's on under the counter
When she turned for more coffee I started to pound her
Of
course, by "her", I mean my fuckin' fist
With dirt clumps feeling like anal grist
I got so nervous I almost went soft
Till she had a long yawn that plumb got me off
Birthday:
A Reminiscence
by Kyler Abernathy (age two)
I
remember still my pass through you
(More vaguely now, as I'm two)
The thrill of birth, and my unfettered prick
Technically fucking you as I travelled through the slick
<Editor's
Note: The second and third verses of this poem have been removed on
advice of our Legal department due to decency issues. We believe the
essence of the poem is still well-represented in the first and final
verses.>
And
Lo! Who the fuck shares with me this bird?
A shining placenta? A glistening turd?
Those rancid siblings I met only once,
But the worst stink of all was clearly your cunt's.
Springtime
Hidekai Shimitzu
Anus
is blooming
Gentle breeze causes boner
Hard to hide my come
Barista,
Do You Not Want My Dick?
Gary Lightfoot
I gave you my number on Saturday night
Not sure if you'd call it but thought that you might
I waited for weeks, in the hopes that you'd come
Around to your senses and dial up my numb
Er...did
you see that, that thing that I did?
In the third fucking line, this clever-ass kid?
I used the word come like a double entendre
Cause I'm sneaky and wily like a motherfuckin contra
Don't
you get it? The word come means more than one thing
And one of those meanings is "Jizz like a King"
I'm the only fucking poet to do this shit
I'm smart like a motherfucking maniac, clit!
