SociallyInept.com

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

The Veneer of Morality

"Social ineptitude lends a veneer of morality to the man who, were it not for his astounding incompetence, would gladly spend his evenings porking his best friend's 15-year-old daughter."
                                                                                                - Dr. Laura Schlessinger

The great unspoken advantage to being completely, irredeemably socially inept is the fact that it results in a near-perfect sexual morality.  In a world where it seems that all of our moral leaders eventually give in to the temptation of abundant snatch, the ranks of the socially inept are refreshingly devoid of moral hypocrites.

Not a Curse, but a Blessing

So take advantage of your condition.  Become a priest.  Become a sanctimonious community leader.  Run for President of the United States.  Your moral credentials are untouchable-----not because you want them to be, but because you are too pathetically inept to find someone to behave immorally with.
Never mind the fact that you desperately desire to screw every sixth woman you walk past.  Never mind the fact that you spend your nights looking at granny porn on the internet.  Never mind the fact that the reason you haven't done anything with your life is because 95% of your mental capacity is dedicated to imagining the baristas at your local Starbucks naked as they make your iced grande sugar-free vanilla americano.

Any Questions?

Q: Yes, cunt-sir.  Why does it matter if you lead a moral life if you are hopelessly single?  Why boast about your fidelity when you have nobody to be faithful to?  What moral standing do you gain by being, well...gay?

A: That is a very good question.  Let me now change the entire purpose of this article.

Wednesday, August 20, 2003
My Life Sucks

"I would say the socially inept are a wretched lot, were it not such an insult to wretches and lots everywhere."
                                                                                                - Dr. Laura Schlessinger

As of this writing, there is still nothing good about being socially inept.  As soon as this situation changes, I will stop masturbating to high school memories just long enough to update this site accordingly.