Saturday,
June 15, 2002
Web
Hosting Charges Prompt Site Updates
Webmaster
Desperate to Get Money's Worth
SociallyInept.com
experienced a frantic flurry of activity on Saturday, just minutes after
Webmaster Aaron Reid opened his American Express bill to discover a $268.00
charge from Verio web-hosting services.
"I can't believe it," moaned Aaron.
"This comes out to about $12 for every word I've added to the site since a
year ago. Why the fuck don't they just charge you based on how much you
actually use their services or something? This fucking sucks."
The hopelessly lazy and unmotivated webmaster then proceeded
to dig through a loose pile of papers in the back of his bedroom closet, where
he claimed he "might be able to find a story to put on the website, or
fucking something to put somewhere anyway."
Et
Tu, Scanner?
Efforts
to update the website were hampered somewhat by the refusal of the
SociallyInept.com scanner to offer any functionality whatsoever.
"I swear I'd be putting up a kick-ass cartoon on the
site if this fuckin' thing worked," Aaron remarked bitterly. His
CanoScan FB 620P scanner ceased to work over two years ago, when Aaron replaced
the missing AC power adapter that was included with the scanner with a new power
adapter which specifically stated that it was only for use with the Nintendo 64
video game console. Looking around his barren bedroom with arms
outstretched as if addressing an invisible audience, Aaron bitched, "Can
someone please explain to me what the fuck is going on with this scanner?"
Adding insult to injury is the inexplicable appearance of an
anus on the backside of the disagreeable scanner which releases loud, crackling
farts intermittently throughout the day.
Broke
as All Get-Out
SociallyInept.com's
financial well-being has been shaky since even before its inception, when
co-founders Aaron and Chris both lived in a crime-ridden halfway house.
With this latest web hosting annual fee, however, comes a new pledge from the
website's creators to litter the site with new content, no matter how poor the
quality.
