Inability to Dreamfuck Frustrates Millions

A Hateful God Will Not Allow Us to Even Dream of Sex (audio)

Most socially inept men are fully aware that God hates them. This fact is not only evident in every waking moment of every day; but for many of us it is also cruelly apparent when we sleep. For while the cock of every other slumbering male on the planet is sloppily vomiting jizzum into the bedsheets to dreams of boning Salma Hayek, the rest of us are finding that our dreams are no more filled with dating success than our waking lives.
For millions of socially inept men across the globe, dream-fucking would be the only possible respite from a depressing day of failed female encounters. But for most of these men, sadly, there will be no respite from their ineptitude. Not even in sleep.

The Psychology of the Dreamfuckist

In the sanctity of your dreams, it is not necessary to have prior sexual experience in order to rub tits, eat snatch, get head, or have hot wet sex. This inexperience was great when we were just five years old and still thought that eating pussy required a fork and knife, and dreams of tit-sucking were nothing but a memory of infancy; but now the social ineptitude of our adult lives carries over into the dream world and we can't do shit. The mind of the socially inept man, beaten down daily with reminders of what a pathetically disappointing physical and mental specimen he is, finds it impossible to even imagine being anything desirable. Some pharmaceuticals can take care of depression and unstable emotions, but drugs are unable to change one's self-image in the dream world. The dream world becomes, in a sense, more like the real world in this way.  

God's Particular Brand of Humor

It would be fitting at this point to add a note of clarification. All of this is not to say that socially inept men cannot experience dream-fucking at all. Dream-fucking can still occur----and often does----but only with traumatizing twists in the experience.
"I was getting my dick rode on by the most gorgeous girl, but when I looked down at her it turned out to be my brother", explained Adam Benjamin, a confessed failure at dream-fucking. "At first I looked at him and was, like, get the fuck out of here----can't you see I'm fucking a hot chick? Then when he farted, I felt it around my cock and realized I was fucking my own brother up the ass."
Such wretched outcomes to dreams that initially promise to be filled with woman-porking splendor are common: "I was just getting ready to jam my unused dong into the hottest slut, and then she turned into a fucking wood doll!", lamented dream-failure Nathan John. "I kept fucking for about a minute before I realized that my fine bitch had turned into a piece of three-inch carved wood."
Other common endings to dream-fucking are: getting fucked up the ass by your dentist; fondling a clitoris that turns out to be your own small pathetic penis; and waking up from a dream to find your own father fucking you up the ass in real life.
One would think that these images and experiences would lead to self pity and suicidal feelings; and one would be correct. This is now verified statistically through research done by the Failed Dream-Fucks of America:

Cause of Suicide in Males
10% Having an intolerably small penis
11% Mental illness
17% Overwhelming depression caused by feelings of insignificance
62% Overwhelming depression caused by the inability to dreamfuck

Dreams of Love Remain Abundant

God's most hearty chuckle, however, is surely reserved for those unfortunate souls among us who, although unable to cough buckets of sperm in nocturnal rapture, are nevertheless entranced by those women that we fall in love with in a matter of minutes when they appear in our dreams. Though God will not allow us to blow a salty load in our pajamas, he is more than happy to make us fall deeply in love with women that do not even exist. Dreams of love are horribly commonplace among the socially inept. Some men dedicate their lives to those perfect women who only exist in their dreams. The Statue of Liberty was designed by a lonely and horny French sculptor who modeled it after a woman he dreamt about and promptly fell in love with. When we wake up from those dreams, God laughs heartily, knowing that we have fallen in love with a creation of our own minds. Then God takes a picture of you that he printed off of the internet and takes a steaming holy shit on it.