Keeping Score
By Jeff Magnet (excerpted from his children's book "Learning
to Grow")
Tyler helped Suzanne
as she was working in the sun
She kissed his cheek and softly said:
"Your pussy points are one"
Then
Tyler told his mother
that her eyes were pretty blue
Her bosom heaved as she exclaimed
"Your pussy points are two!"
As
Papa changed the oil,
Tyler took his dirty rags
His father muttered saltily:
"No points from me, fag."
Tyler
took his Gramma's feet
and cleaned off all the goo
She coughed and drooled and shat herself:
"Eight pussy points for you!"
When
the day was over
little Tyler gaily beamed
...but no one ever taught him how
his points could be redeemed.
He
lived a life of sadness
--and when all was said and done--
Tyler had to face the awful truth--
his pussy points were none.
My
Self-Help Program
By Alonzo Griffin
I grew weary of the constant horny pulsing of my dick
and the inner yearnings that I was unable to acquit
My mind was torn asunder by the aching of my sack
but now I feel that I've discovered what it takes to get it back
The
path to my salvation lies in eating all I can,
To become a fairly overweight but not so horny man
Frantic fucking
fingers shoving Pringles down the hatch
This is what I'm wont to do when I don't want to think of snatch.
Alcoholic
By Morris Grant
Fat
chicks and me
like scones and tea
we click when I been drinkin'
I
like 'em lots
and lots and lots
Sometimes I put my dink in
But
sorry me
when later we
wake up and I can think
But
guilt and shame
can all the same
be staved off with a drink