SociallyInept.com

Wednesday, October 23, 2002

Jokes About Things Tasting Like Chicken Never Funny

[Editor's Note:  Although it may seem that this article is off-topic, having absolutely nothing to do with social ineptitude, quite the opposite is true.  {We are presently rationalizing the truthfulness of the previous sentence.}]  

A recent survey of all jokes ever conceived about how something does or does not taste like chicken has found that all such jokes are "not funny in the slightest".  The research, conducted by the Graham Institute for Intellectual Honesty, comes in response to a recent dramatic increase in the incidence of "tastes-like-chicken" jokes both in professional comedy circuits as well as in general public discourse.

Stand-Up Comics Going Back to Basics

Word of the findings hit the stand-up comedy circuit like a freight train, sending comedians scrambling to rewrite their routines.  Greg Flaggot, 32, was in the middle of a stand-up routine at The Comedy Underground in Seattle when the news was cued to him from offstage.
    "I was just about to tell my joke about how hen meat tastes like chicken when I got word," he explained, "so I did a quick mental rewrite and had to tell a joke about how hen meat tastes like pussy.  Nobody laughed, but I guess they never really laughed at the old version either."

Worst Offenders

Included in the Graham Institute's study was a list of the 500 most unfunny tastes-like-chicken jokes.  Topping the list were the following five notable stinkers:

 #5    Q:    Why does Cream of Wheat taste like chicken?
           A:    Cream of Wheat doesn't taste like chicken.

#4    Q:    When is a popsicle not a popsicle?
         A:    When it's a dildo.
        Q:    Huh?
        A:    I mean...when it's a tastes-like-chicken-sicle.

#3    Q:    How many different things taste like chicken?
        A:    It depends on how many chickens there are.

#2    Q:    Why do you taste like chicken?
          A:    Fuck you, you fuckin' dick!

#1    Q:    What smells like fish but tastes like chicken?
          A:    A chicken-fish.