SociallyInept.com

Frequently Asked Questions

At SociallyInept.com, we occasionally receive e-mail from individuals that choose to ask polite, sincere questions rather than insulting and sarcastic ones.  Some of these questions come up frequently enough that we have decided to post them here, with our replies.

How come you guys only update your website, like, once every fuckin' blue moon?
Ever since we were forced to lay off the entire staff as a cost-cutting measure, things have gone to pot.  Not only are there only two individuals now contributing to site content, but we have had our hands full with a class-action lawsuit from former employees who claim that we "directly contributed" to their "severe, clinical depression" by constantly telling them that they were never going to have girlfriends.  To them I say: the truth hurts, but Jesus, don't shoot the messenger!

How can I tell if I'm socially inept?
Good question.  The condition of social ineptitude is difficult to instantly identify.  This sort of realization usually only comes after years of rejection, years of trembling fear in the presence of women, years of dealing with feelings of inadequacy.  Or you could just check to see if you have a really small penis.  That's usually a pretty good indicator.

There are socially inept women out there too, you know.  Why doesn't your site speak to them?
If we knew anything at all about women, even socially inept women, we would be dating them and this site wouldn't exist.  Furthermore, if a socially inept woman stands in one place long enough, she'll still get a date.  Now go blow.

I'm so embarrassed.  All my friends know that my cousin does this gross website where all they do is say "snatch" and "vagina" all the time.
What?  Who even told them about the website?
Your brother.
That little shit.

I have never had sex, but my doctor just told me that I have chlamydia.  What gives?
Actually, drunken, unprotected vaginal intercourse with a heinously ugly fat beast of a woman that you met while partying and who you would much rather forget about is still, technically, sex.
Oh.

[Telephone Call]  If one of you guys ended up getting a girlfriend, would you stop doing the website, or would you just continue on as a fraud?  
Who the fuck is this?  You calling me a fraud?  I'll fucking kill you you motherfucking son-of-a-whore!!!  Where are y---<click> -----Goddammit!!!

Hey, I can't tell if you guys are gay or homophobic.  Which is it?
Fuck off.  What happened to all the polite questions I had written down?  Oh yeah----here they are.