SociallyInept.com

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Investor Relations

For the second time ever, willing investors can now share in the incredible success of SociallyInept.com.  Since being delisted from the NASDAQ, we have streamlined our processes by reducing the periodicity of updates from once every two months to once every five months.  We have also reduced overhead by laying off all of our staff.  We even fired the retarded kids that were working here for free.

That's because when it comes to the bottom line, SociallyInept.com is as bottom as it gets.  For those who wish to invest in this solid, established corporation that can't go anywhere but up, we present the following investment options:

 
Investment Option Description Price
Bronze Plan Get locked in now to secure 10% of all future SociallyInept.com earnings! Give me 10% of whatever's in your wallet.
Silver Plan Wine her and dine her in style with the money you make off of your 25% stake in SociallyInept.com! Twenty vaginas...or five.  Gimme at least one vagina.
Gold Plan A 49% stake in SociallyInept.com.  This includes a proportionate share of earnings and the title of Chief Incompetent Officer I'm just really cold...please hug me?
Diamond Plan The whole goddamnable company. Pay off my mortgage, fucker.