 | No matter how broke
you are, you presently have at least twice the amount of money that you
would have if you had a girlfriend. |
| You can comfortably
and unabashedly bask in your own farts. |
| You have no need to
be self-conscious, no matter how misshapen your cock. |
| You'll never have
nearly the amount of sexually transmitted diseases that your socially
competent friends do. |
| No extra relatives
that need gifts during the holidays. |
| You don't have to
perform messy at-home abortions like all your guy friends do. |
| Buddha would never
have been enlightened if he had a woman. |
| You don't have to
worry about your girlfriend waiting through three years of fucking before
telling you she's had genital herpes the whole time. |
| You would have
ruined any children you might have had, anyway. |
| While your friend is
stuck having sex with his ugly and annoying girlfriend, you get to
masturbate to Christina
Aguilera. |
